Finally, common sense and kind heartedness return to me and I get busy. What was I thinking? It’s not so much a challenge but an opportunity. It’s actually just like those first few months of parenthood when we are forced to surrender to a new way of thinking and living. I decide to look for gifts that truly represent what that new life will represent, a gift that gives back.  When I search for gifts that give to charity I am amazed to see the many choices available. The cynic in me that believes this kind of thing will never catch on retreats and I am engulfed by a hope. My hope is that this trend of companies donating a percentage of profits to charity will become more than a trend.

There are some trends that stick around for much too long. The plastic shoes from the 1980’s would be an excellent example of that phenomenon. Then there are trends that that fade too quickly into that good night. I hope that things like home made gifts, organic clothing and socially conscious giving do not disappear but thrive. There is only one way we can give really unique baby gifts. We must  hold on tightly to the unique belief that if enough of us give gifts that keep on giving, the world will indeed be a better place for our children.

First, mix and match. That is the key for adult fashion and it goes for children as well. When we follow the rules our style usually ends up being pretty boring and safe. So go ahead and put stripes with polka dots or a frilly dress over jeans. Don’t feel obligated to put a pair of Mary Jane’s on your child with her birthday dress. Try that light up sneakers that she just had to have with her birthday ensemble and create a unique style of her own.

Second, don’t be confined by the seasonal limitations of the clothing. Put a sleeveless summer dress over a long sleeved t-shirt and you’ve got a whole new look. My daughter loves to wear her spring colored tutu over her jeans with her frog covered rain boots on a cool autumn day. Remember Annie Hall? It was the layers that gave her fashion that uncommon flair.

Third, often times little tots grow out clothing before they’ve had a chance where them sufficiently. It’s frustrating to pass along a favorite toddler outfit to a friend’s baby when your own child has worn it only once or twice. Think those pants that still fit in the waist are too short for your child? Think again. A pair of funky socks kick those floods into cool baby clothes central. That jacket still fit in the arms but too short around the waist?  Put a sweet ruffled dress over a pair of leggings and that jacket becomes a short waisted jacket fashion trend for kids. Every baby dress becomes a toddler’s top with a pair of pants.

It’s not where you live or what store you buy your kids’ clothing from that matter. It’s not following the latest fashion trend for kids or wearing designer children’s clothing that makes our children hip, cool or fashionable. It’s that fact that mom shares a unique sense of baby style, ingenuity and individuality that makes a kid really cool. It’s always those kids who look like their parents didn’t spend a ton of money but a ton of love that grab our hearts. They have that certain “mom just threw this outfit together before we ran out the door” look we all want to emulate. That is so much more interesting, not to mention more inexpensive, than the perfect baby or toddler outfit prepackaged from some hip kids clothing store.

Alysia Reiner at the Hamptons Int'l Film Festival with her one-year-old daughter, Livia, wearing a WWooBie in "Silver Spots with Cherry Dots"

Alysia is one of those women who lives what she believes – she and her actor husband, David Alan Basche, have been tireless advocates of sustainable living long before it was trendy, even being featured in a web series for “Dwell” magazine throughout the green renovation of their Harlem brownstone.

And in addition to her impressive acting credits (which include The Vicious Kind, Sideways, Starter Wife, 30 Rock, Sopranos, just to name a few). Alysia recently added the role of “Mother” to her resume, giving birth a year ago to her ridiculously beautiful daughter, Livia Charles. You’d think that would be enough to keep a lady busy, but she can now add “Writer and  Producer” to her growing list.

Alysia’s film, “Speed Grieving” was inspired by her experience with the death of her father in a rapid battle with cancer.  The hope is that it can serve others as they deal with the unpredictable and seldom talked-about process of dealing with the loss of a loved one. And the goal is that it will be used in clinics, hospitals, and hospices to make grief a little less lonely for those suffering and serve as a reminder that staying PRESENT is the most serene way out of the disorienting black hole of grief.

At our launch party, we raised our glasses to women who are using their unique talents to bring change to the world, so to Alysia, who wasn’t able to be there – here’s to you – a true innovator, passionate mother, relentless activist, inspiring artist, and DIVERSIFIER. Bravo!

She’s a reminder to women everywhere to live passionately and out loud – there’s no better way to teach our children than by example. I’m sure she’s made her Pops so very proud.