Becoming Me – A thanks to the suffragettes who paid a high price in the struggle to participate between motherhood and business
The last 21 months, 30 if you include my pregnancy I’ve been trying to let go of who I was and figure out who I am becoming. Once an artist and activist who traveled the world doing both, I find myself in strange new territory. I have started a business with two powerful women who are equally dedicated to both motherhood and creating a world that works for everyone. This business allows us to work at home with our daughters nearby while still having a far reach out into the world. We sell darling eco friendly organic headscarves for babies with 25% donated to children’s aid organizations around the globe. What we are really selling however is a new era. We are women selling the idea that it is possible to be hands on mothers, artists, businesswomen and still leave the world a better place for our children. It sounded so simple when we began; every day since has been a joyous challenge to make that idea a reality.
My two partners, a Broadway actress and an Architect for the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department have led adventurous lives. None of us had ever started a business before and we each had our reasons to try now. Those reasons ranged from leaving a legacy for our daughters, paying our bills doing something we loved, to making a difference in the world while sharing this unique fashion accessory that had people stopping us on every street corner to admire. Our startup business was slow but our patience was endless. Diapers, nursing, runny noses and noisy children seemed to halt our every effort but there is no tenacity and reserve of energy in the world like those of a mother. There was a silent agreement between the three of us, family first, which kept us from blowing up each time we missed a deadline or forgot a conference call. It contrasted sharply with my work with women who were not mothers. Not better or worse just different. There was a softness that had long been missing in my life after years of hard driving and ambitious living to become something worthwhile.
It struck me one day in the midst of trying to juggle motherhood and business that many women had paid a high price for my chance to participate in that struggle. I thought of the women in the 1950’s and 60’s who mothered a generation day in and day out with absolutely no choice of any other life. It was their “duty” to bake pies, mend hems and serve dinners while many a life’s dream to dance, travel or run a business quietly disappeared into the night. Then I thought of the women in my mother’s generation, many of whom were single mothers in the divorce boom of the 70’s and 80’s who wanted nothing more than to be home with their babies but had to work the early shift, late shift or pull a double. I thought of the women on the forefront of the women’s lib movement who fought the hard and won the battle so my partners and I could make the choices we were making today. One generation had to sacrifice their dreams of a life outside the home while the next often had to sacrifice their dreams of life within the home.
Now, every time I sit down for a Whole World Baby meeting with my babe at breast while my one partner’s babe is gleefully hanging off the banister for the 3rd time and my other partner is juggling her full time job and phone calls from 3 teenage daughters, I smile. I smile in spite of the chaos because I recognize that I am becoming one of the women who is paving the way for our daughters choices. I am consciously parenting my daughter and serving dinners (although I have yet to bake a pie or mend a hem) and not one ounce of resentment or a sense lost dreams runs through my veins. I am creating a business from the ground up with two strong, opinionated and passionate women and loving every minute of it while still being there for my daughter’s first steps, first words and first days. There are still days when I feel lost and overwhelmed but those days are eased with the knowledge that it is possible to have both realized dreams and fulfilled daughters. On those days I feel the millions of mothers who came before me cheering me on somewhere in the distance and I feel grateful.
Stacey Martino
